Pizza Style: Neapolitan
Venue Style: Sit Down
Food Orders: Margherita, Meatball, Cavolo, Salsiccia
Beverage Orders: Craft Beers and mixed drinks
Lg Cheese Pizza: $14
Attendees: Boboli, Ellios, Tombstone & Celeste

The Slice Guys expectations were high going into the evening as Posto’s inspiration is the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana (AVPN). Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana (“True Neapolitan Pizza Association”), which was founded in 1984, has set the very specific rules that must be followed for an authentic Neapolitan pizza. These include that the pizza must be baked in a wood-fired, domed oven; that the base must be hand-kneaded and must not be rolled with a pin or prepared by any mechanical means and that the pizza must not exceed 35 centimeters in diameter or be more than one-third of a centimeter thick at the center. Check, check and check, however, without proper execution, these standards wont help you.

Sigh…To be honest these guys don’t even know where to begin. Posto does have a great drink selection, a pleasing atmosphere with beautiful, very capable and accommodating wait staff, but in the grand scheme of things that doesn’t matter because the pizza was just disappointing.

Major Sag 😦

Over the past month the Guys have been discussing “The Sag” and its relevance with relation to a pizza’s taste and overall experience which ultimately contributes to a pizzeria’s final slice rating. This was ironic because Posto can now be used as a prime example to determine the significance of “The Sag” during future vernacular debates and whether or not The Sag can make or break a pizza. So what was the verdict you ask? Well, that is still undecided since the guys came to a split decision on this one but that does not eliminate the fact that Posto’s pizza sagged so much that you couldn’t even pick it up with your hands, Fold be damned. This factor ultimately concluded that Posto pizza is better suited as an entrée that you eat with a “fork and knife” because if eaten with your hands it will most definitely end up on your plate or in your lap.

“I don’t even feel like I ate pizza tonight” – Boboli

We were joined by excellent company that evening aka “The Corn Muffin” and for the most part we all had a great night but that doesn’t diminish that fact that this supposed AVPN inspired pizza establishment severely undercooked the pizzas. Sure the ingredients were primo but who cares when every other aspect lacked proper execution. All of the ingredients that topped these pies would have held up strong as a solo entrée and the crust could have been better served as a dinner roll simply because it seemed as if they didn’t know how to use the brick oven. If it wasn’t for their tasty toppings (with the exception of the meatball which we will address shortly) things could have been devastating for Posto on the Slice-O-Meter scale.

The Margherita – This was your typical standard Margherita Pizza – or that’s what it wanted to be.  The pizza came out in record time (four minutes by our count) and there were a few issues right off the bat. First, the cheese looked like it was barely melted – the Mozzeralla Balls were distinguishable with no browning on the cheese, but there was charring of the basil which was burnt in places – taking away the freshness of the spice.  The dough has a surprisingly dichotomous Jekyll and Hyde aspect to it – it was undercooked, but somewhat charred on the bottom in places – but was not doughy.  It was just plain unpleasurable.  The taste wasn’t terrible, and at times it was even flavorful, but overall it failed.  Sauce was the only high note – but how do you go wrong with fresh uncomplicated San Marzano?

The Meatball pizza was reminiscent of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni despite Posto’s claim to have included three high quality meats (i.e. beef, veal and pork). Yes, you heard us, all five of us agreed that it’s similarity to Chef Boyardee was uncanny. Don’t get us wrong here because some of the SGs were raised on good ole’ Chef Boyardee but as adults who are paying $15+ for a 14” pizza that is totally unacceptable.

The Salsiccia – You could barely taste the broccoli rabe which seems to be impossible seeing that broccoli rabe has such a distinct and defined bitter flavor. Although the whipped ricotta was delicious it pretty much oozed from off of the crust onto the plate leaving a bowl of tasty fennel sausage and ricotta soup to mop up with the remaining soggy, wet and limp crust.

The Covolo – Kale, mozzarella, pork belly, farm fresh egg; flavors were delicious; however the same issues apply.  The egg gave it a great rich flavor, but only added to the sag.  The crust was still doughy and the pork belly was haphazardly laid on the pizza with no intention or purpose.  Another prime example of “all show and no substance”- poor execution throughout.

The Porchetta – Fresh porchetta with fontina, asiago, red onion and fresh oregano.  In an evening of disappointments, this can be considered the one high point. The crust was crispy, the porchetta was delicious, and the pizza stood up relatively well.

Perhaps it was an off night, as other reviewers paint a more glowing picture, or perhaps it was the excellent cocktails the other reviewers had. Regardless, the Slice Guys can only offer Posto – 4.5 Slices of an 8 Slice Perfection – The aformentioned “split decision” came down to “what was” vs. “what could be”. We believe that Posto has the potential to rise if the same amount of attention that is placed on the AVPN standards is given to execution and consistency.

Tagged: Neapolitan